Because I'm carrying Christmas presents and a fuzzy faux fur coat roughly the size of Sasquatch's illegitimate love child, my suitcase is a pound and a half over the fifty pound limit. 'Take out a pair of shoes or jeans,' suggests the friendly agent at the counter where I'm checking my bags. I unzip the nearest exterior pocket and extract the first pair of shoes I can get my hands around, then step back. The numbers on the scale fluctuate for a second, then settle at exactly fifty pounds; who knew running shoes weighed so much? I cram the shoes into the last three cubic inches of space left in my backpack, scribble name, address and phone number on one of the paper tags provided by the airline, and loop it onto the handle of the suitcase as I roll it over to the TSA luggage scanner.
Because I'm carrying Christmas present wrapped in shiny paper, the power cord for my laptop (which has a little square plastic box containing the built-in surge protector), and a stainless steel travel mug in my backpack, the backpack gets sent through the machine at the security check twice. I stand at the mouth of the belt, waiting to retrieve my things.
Because the TSA agent is in no great rush to run anyone's personal items through the machine, I get a few extra minutes to inspect and contemplate the new x-ray scanning device that is all the rage in airport security these days.* It's comprised of two big, dark blue boxes, maybe three or four feet square by seven feet tall, with a gap of a couple feet between the boxes. There's a mat on the floor in the gap. I'm guessing the suspect, err, victim, err, scannee, err, innocent passenger, stands on the mat between the two machines while they do their thing.
On one side of each box is a flat screen. The screen on the western-most box, where I stand waiting for my shoes and carry-on items to pass scrutiny, faces into the terminal. The screen on the east box, where you enter from the ticket counter, faces directly towards the line where passengers wait for their boarding passes and IDs to be checked. The screens are not huge, maybe 17", but big enough to be seen clearly from the line.
The key in the x-ray scanner is turned to 'stand-by'; it's not in use today. Aside from the length of time it would take to funnel every passenger through this one machine, I can see why this technology upsets so many people. It would be one thing if the screen was placed so that only the agent or agents running the machine were viewing the image, but here, the image of your x-ray-naked body will be flashed at hundreds of people when you get scanned. And people will look, because it's a screen, and we Americans as a people are programmed from birth to automatically train our eyes on any screen flashing in our vicinity.
That's not security, to me. That's poor manners, and lack of respect for basic personal privacy. Think about it - my backpack is getting a more private screening than I would get if I was in the big scanner right now.
Don't get me wrong. I have titanium pins in my ankle that set off the metal detector on the rare occasions that the national security level is puce or whatever. I'm okay with being pulled to the side for a pat-down, I'm fine with being wanded by an agent wielding a portable metal detector, but neither of those actions require my junk being shown to the masses. This to me crosses a line. I submit that if the TSA wants us average folk to willingly allow our images to be shown to our fellow travelers in this manner, they should be required to wear - as uniforms - skin tight body suits of a color and material that leave nothing to our imagination. That would at least level the playing field a little bit.
My shoes, laptop and backpack finally squirt through the little opening of the security device. I grab them and cruise over to a nearby row of chairs, reassemble myself and remove the travel mug. I find a nearby coffee purveyor and purchase some espresso happiness. Then I go sit like a good little sheeple and wait for my plane.
* BLATANT PLUG: For some hilarious merchandise relating to the enhanced security measures, see my cousin Rick's Lucid Interval shirts, mugs, etc. on Cafe Press: http://www.cafepress.com/TheLucidInterval?utm_medium=cp_social&utm_source=addthis&utm_campaign=CafepressShop
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